How my EX lowered my moral standards to the barest minimum

  1. My first advice to anyone entering a relationship is to make sure your partner has good standards. It is also important to have assurances that your relationship with him/her won’t lower your own good standards (if you have). I learnt this lesson the hard way through my relationship with Pelumi.

I am not here to judge him or anyone; I just want young people to learn that there is more to a relationship than just being a boyfriend or girlfriend to someone. A relationship is like the first step towards something that SHOULD last forever. This means that partners should begin to uphold standards that will keep them strong on the long-term, instead of engaging in activities that can make them regret for the rest of their lives. If the relationship works out, you will have a good foundation to build upon. If it doesn’t work out, you will have good memories to keep instead of bitterness, hate and regrets.

I kind of fell in love with Pelumi before he realized he liked me. We had been hi-hi friends, and only saw in classes. We were in different departments but we always met in the compulsory elective classes. I had liked him from afar, and always wanted him to start a conversation. He eventually did and that was how we got off the mark. Within a few weeks of getting close, we were already dating.

I come from a CAC (Christ Apostolic Church) family and I had built up certain standards for myself while growing up. I dated Pelumi because I really liked him and hoped he would be the kind of man  I had always dreamed of to be my husband, but it was not to be. My relationship with Pelumi was a constant war between his desires and my principles.

To put things plainly, Pelumi wanted me to do what other girls were doing. He initially complained that I looked too much like an S.U. He encouraged me to start embracing a little bit of fashion. In a bid to make him happy, I started making my hair; using attachments and always tried to look good. He later said I should try putting on trousers. I raised alarm at first, but he managed to convince me to do it. I got a few trousers and only wore them at school. My parents would kill me if they got to know I wore trousers. Within a few months, I had been transformed totally from what I used to be. I did it for love and was happy because my boyfriend was happy. I got mixed reactions from friends, but it didn’t matter to me as much as Pelumi mattered.

Not suspecting that my transformation would lead to bigger things, I got deeper and deeper into Pelumi and I was really shocked on the day I received my first kiss from him. I didn’t expect it and I was really mad at him. He apologized but explained that there was nothing wrong with it. I was really gullible and crazy in love, so I agreed to it. Soon, we started kissing at every opportunity.

The kissing later started becoming really hot and he started touching and trying to put his fingers in the wrong places. I made it clear to him that I won’t allow that and he agreed that the farthest we will go will be kissing (until we are married).

Pelumi had an agenda, and he was willing to fulfill it, and was very patient about it!

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1 Comment

  1. Ab

    May 17, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    Hmm.. nice msg U’ve got & I’m glad U didn’t fall 4 his tricks bcos even if U had made love to him, he still wouldn’t HV married U.Sex is never & would never be a true test of love n d sooner we know this d better 4 us all. D Bible says when d foundation is destroyed, what would d righteous do? More power to your elbow.

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