From ‘for better for worse’ vow, to death sentence

Emeka wooed Nkiru and she agreed to marry him. A wedding date was set and preparations began. Emeka sold two of his cars and left one with the hope that after the marriage, what the inlaws would give their daughter would buy him better cars. But he was wrong.

“It was the mother-in-law that perceived him as a gold-digger and told her husband. And at the reception, his father-in-law told the guests that Nkiru was his best child and he spent millions to train her to become a qualified medical doctor and a gynecologist. He said |Nkiru was an oil-well to her husband and the best gift any man could have. No special gift was given the couple like the man gave t his first daughter.

“ Then on the way home after the reception, Emeka began to complain that the bride’s family did not make any contribution to the wedding and the reception and that no special gift was given to them by the wife’s family. When the complaint became too much, the wife asked him whether he married her for love or for her father’s money and right there on their way home, a fight ensued. Emeka beat his new wife to a pulp and her cousin who was a bridesmaid at the wedding and who was also in the car called her father with her mobile phone. The big man came with armed policemen to arrest the groom when the couple were just a few metres to their matrimonial home. The transporter took his daughter back to his house and that marked the end of the marriage. They were never reconciled. In fact, Nkiru never went to Emeka’s house. It was at that point that Nkiru collected all the presents given to her at the wedding by her own family and their friends while she left those given by Emeka’s friends. Today, they are both married to other people.”

There are endless stories of woe leading to marital problems and in some cases, death.

Sometimes, the problem could be his family or hers. It could be the way she carried herself and as John Mento, a public relations practctioner said, his wife always tied wrapper across her breasts at home and he didn’t like that. He has complained several times and her response had always been that she was not looking for another husband. She apparently didn’t know she was on the verge of losing the one she has.

Or it could be his drinking too much and always smelling like a brewery. Then he would stagger home every night and left his clothings and shoes all over the sitting room.

Nothing could be more nauseating to a woman than messing up the home she strived so hard to keep. She’d arrange the house and he would scatter them.

Men don’t like dirty homes but he was the one scattering everything. Did he want to kill her?

Then, she’d give him food and forget to give him water. Didn’t her mother train her well?

The argument over money never stopped. She would bring up the issue of money when he was feeling cozy. What kind of woman would do that? Was she trying to hold him to ransom?

And there were the kids.

Ohhhh. Those brats. He’s too strict and wouldn’t take nonsense from the kids. But she didn’t want him to touch her kids. Of course, he called them brats but they were her brats. Has he ever been pregnant? Would he rather the children run into hiding when they heard the horn of his car?

His own mum spoiled him too. Bought him football and toy guns as a child and that’s why he was kicking her around anyway.

Her friends! Gosh! Those gossips. He could never stand them. All they talked about were clothes, jewelry and shoes and they were putting ideas into her head.

He liked football. She preferred Telemundo. He was a Chelsea fan. She was Arsenal or Man U. She could never stop getting on his nerves. Too many things.

And you were boring her!


You could never hear the last of what they were capable of doing to a man and so, you had to cut the long story short. So, you killed her. Not that you meant to but she was annoying you, calling you unprintable names and you got so mad and pushed her and she fell and hit her head on something.

You are a murderer.

Or you suddenly became the world wrestling champion because of her and your kids were watching?

Are you a kid? Didn’t you know before you embarked on the business of marriage?

Just take a few things and walk.

Serious. As simple as that and you’d keep your soul from trouble. And she would come back begging for forgiveness. She would definitely do. Infact, her entire family would come and beg and you must forgive. She would say she was sorry even though from her heart of hearts, she didn’t mean it.

Just look into her eyes. Were those eyes sorry? But she has asked and that was the most important thing.

So forgive.

Or would you want the kids to be called ‘children from broken home’ in school? That way, they would never forgive you.

Marriage. Indeed, it would eventually kill you because it has been a death sentence all the while.

Till death do you part.

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