My first heartbreak was due to indecision

The searchlight of our Break Up Experience for this week beams on the beautiful fast rising actress, Damilare Kuku. In today’s episode, she shares the story of her first heartbreak, how she played a part in it and the lessons we can learn. From a personal angle, her story shares some similarities with how I landed my first heartbreak. But whilst my story will not feature until much later, let’s learn from Damilare’s story today. 

The first time anyone ever broke my heart was during my service year in Ibadan.

It was this guy I met when I went for service. I will not reveal his name. I had a boyfriend before going to camp, but I liked this guy, so I couldn’t do anything about it.

After camp, I had distance issues with my boyfriend, so we kinda separated. It gave me the opportunity to start seeing this other guy who had been just friends with me; we didn’t date, but I really liked him.
He was my first…everything.

He took me to the restaurant where I had my first lobsters. He was very kind to me. He gave me my first bottle of wine – Rubies, I remember. He was funny and we got along well.

The thing with me is that I don’t really like to commit until I’m sure what it is. So I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to commit to the relationship. What made it worse back then was that a certain politician’s daughter was also on his case. I knew it was me he liked, but I wasn’t very sure. Coupled with the fact that I wasn’t experienced enough for him; I wasn’t exposed. My work was a challenge of its own too. I was always having a lot to do, and wasn’t ready to let go of work for him.

We kept on being friends regardless of the challenges. We both had our jobs, and could hardly keep up seeing each other because there was no time.

I went for Miss Nigeria pageant, but I wasn’t picked. Around the same time, he also had something at work which I couldn’t attend, so we had an argument…And that was it.

It wasn’t really a fight, but he was pissed I didn’t show up for him. I can’t say that was how we ended our relationship, because we hardly had one. But that put a stop to whatever we had or hoped to have.

It hurt me, and it was my first heartbreak.

I cried for a week and was depressed for a month. I told myself I would never go out again, I wanted to remain depressed for the rest of my life.

My younger sister was not giving up on me. She didn’t let me wallow in my depression. She tried to force me to go for one party or the other. I met some guys, but everyone of them mattered little. I was really depressed, I think I wrote a song about it.

It was a horrible period for me, and I was like ‘if this is what Love is, I don’t want to be in love anymore’. I didn’t want to be the one calling or texting him, so I had to let go. I was pained, but I eventually got over him.

That was my first experience of a heartbreak.

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I think this is a classic case of two people who didn’t fulfill their potentials in love because of INDECISION. Serves as a lesson to the rest of us who might be in a similar circumstance; go for it! Make a decision! Commit to it if you like him/her and let it flow from within.

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