HOW TO TURN YOUR MAN TO A SURE ATM

Lookatew! Just take a good lookatew! So you came here to know how to turn your man to a sure ATM abi? Oya na! You will learn lesson today. Just remember that it was you that brought yaself here, issnor me that is about to teach you bad thing. hehehe.

Abeg wetin be ATM sef? For the sake of posterity, I will tell you. ATM means Automated Teller Machine. Inugo??? The machine that always spits out money in banks. Darrisit!  Today, I am about to teach you how to make your man spit money like a sure ATM, anytime you want (without using him for blood money ooo).

ATM

So, focus and go with me as we look at different ways to make your man a sure ATM.

Open an account

Wait! do you think you can just walk up to an ATM and start to make withdrawals when you don’t have a bank account. Same way here; you need to operate an account, simply put – get a MAN. Make sure you choose your bank (MAN) with wisdom, consider factors like distance, availability, customer service and others.  Then proceed to open an account (creep into his heart) How? I don’t know, maybe through your charming smile, your nice attitude, your cooking ability, your heavy duty assets, anything at all…just open an account!

Make a deposit

You get what you give or even more, right? I’m sure you agree with that. Before your man can be a potential ATM, you must have deposited something in him. Why will he give you money na? Who you epp? Except you want to lock him in a nice wardrobe or maybe a room, decorate his environment with nice shades of black and/or red designed with cowries, make him tie a red wrapper(black too will fit in), place a big calabash like that of the Fulanis on his head, and watch him vomit money faster and better than the ATM machine. If you don’t have plans to do that, then you have to make your deposits, support him, pray for him, advise him, believe in him, encourage him. Deposit is not once o, it’s a continuous process.

NB: You don’t have to sleep with him.

Get an ATM card

Now you have an account and you have made (still making) deposits, it’s time to get your ATM card. You won’t have to join the queue of his friends and other things waiting to make withdrawals from him (they all will be using withdrawal slip), so the need for the ATM card. In this case, your ATM card will be your ATTITUDE towards him and the things he cares about. While dealing with him you need to put some RESPECK on it but not at the detriment of your self-esteem. But if you are an Edo or Ijebu girl **pops collar**, you know how we roll na**winks**, our ATM card can sometimes be some powdery black substance! lol.

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2 Comments

  1. kabie

    August 14, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    Lol very funny but true…A loyal lady will always get from her man…but a stingy man will always be a stingy man

  2. Aanuoluwapo Odusola

    October 15, 2016 at 1:05 am

    Lol, this killed me, thank you for this *enters lab* I’m Ijebu tho.

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